Drinking is an integral part of getting through the winter. So is keeping warm. Why not kill two figurative birds with one metaphorical stone with the Mitten Flask? The classic mittens come with a 4 oz pouch hooked up to a bite valve in the thumb. It costs just $20 to get your hands on in a pair. Booze not included.
To me aprons are bibs for adults. I'm a messy eater! This is the Grill Sergeant Apron. It prepares you for even the most brutal of BBQs with its bottle opener 3 tool pockets 4 sauce pockets salt & pepper pockets and an artillery belt that holds 6 cans. The apron is one size fits all because this is Americuh dammit. The fattest nation in the history of Earth! This is gonna be the perfect addition to my next cook out. Lord knows I need all the help I can get. It's a real battle eating enough food to feed an entire troop when you're only an army of one.
Crazy Dog T-Shirts (not to be confused with Wacky Cat Turtle Necks) is selling this Ask Me About My Ninja Disguise tee. On the front it says 'Ask Me About My Ninja Disguise' and on the inside there's a ninja mask that you can pull over your head. Pretty clever. I personally don't like to be told what to do, so if your T-shirt tells me to ask you about anything, it's likely I'll avoid that topic completely. What can I say? I'm a fun time!
Turn your headlights into actual headlights with these LED pasties by Sasswear. Sasswear is right! I think we can all agree there's nothing more sassy than a light-up areola. The reusable adhesives are hypoallergenic and the rechargeable batteries last over 20 hours. That's a long-ass time to be blasting your nips, but who am I to judge? I'm just a person who ordered a pair in every color.
This is the Pizza Party Sweater by Alex Stevens. It is the most glorious sweater in all of the sweater land. Want one of your very own? Of course you do! You're human after all. ACT NOW - it's on sale for less than $17. That's a steal! Don't like pizza? I don't believe you. The shop's also got sweaters with a T-rex astronaut, chicken wings, a hula hooping polar bear, a wolf howling at a rainbow moon, beer bottles, a majestic eagle head, and more! There's got something for everyone! Unless you like nothing. In which case, there is nothing for you. Which is a good thing. Because you like nothing.
Everyone, stop what you're doing - a Star Wars Hawaiian Shirt exists IRL. Why? I think the real question here is why not? I can think of a thousand reasons why! Like, maybe you're attending a Star Wars themed BBQ. Or um, a Star Wars themed luau. Perhaps, uh... a Star Wars themed casual Friday at the office? Okay you're right. That last one was a stretch. A long painful stretch, in fact. I think I pulled a muscle!
Check out these Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle pajamas being sold on Amazon for $40. You can choose from Leonardo (HERE) or Michelangelo (HERE). No word on why they didn't include Donatello and Raphael but my guess is, someone's got a grudge. Probably Krang.
Check out this super cute Little Mermaid swimsuit! The pieces are sold separately (top HERE, bottoms HERE) for $24.50 each. Why in the world would you buy one and not the other is beyond me. Separating the top from the bottom is almost as cruel as, I dunno, like, separating mermaids and humans or whatever! It's not okay, guys!
Remember when I threw that party and we made fun crafts outta cat hair? Of course you don't you never showed up! You didn't even have the decency to RSVP. It's your loss though. I served cocktail wienies drenched in ketchup. Sooo good. But don't you worry I've got a new craft night theme up my sleeve. A knitting with dog hair partyyyy! Author Anne Montgomery brings us this book called ‘Knitting With Dog Hair: Better A Sweater From A Dog You Know and Love Than From A Sheep You'll Never Meet'. That... is a long title. But I'm not here to judge I'm here to knit some f***ing weird dog-hair sweaters. Plus eat cocktail wienies!