How To Be A Person In The World

Product Description

*A New York Times Love and Relationships bestseller*

For readers of Cheryl Strayed and Anne Lamott, a collection of brand new, impassioned, and inspiring letters by the author of the beloved advice column Ask Polly, featured weekly on New York Magazine's The Cut

Should you quit your day job to follow your dreams? How do you rein in an overbearing mother? Will you ever stop dating wishy-washy, noncommittal guys? Should you put off having a baby for your career? 

Heather Havrilesky, the author of the weekly advice column Ask Polly, featured in New York magazine’s The Cut, is here to guide you through the “what if’s” and “I don’t knows” of modern life with the signature wisdom and tough love her readers have come to expect. 

How to Be a Person in the World is a collection of never-before-published material along with a few fan favorites. Whether she’s responding to cheaters or loners, lovers or haters, the depressed or the down-and-out, Havrilesky writes with equal parts grace, humor, and compassion to remind you that even in your darkest moments you’re not alone.

Top Reviews

... I have columns bookmarked and text docs with my favorite quotes. I am in the middle of a ...
by Amazon Customer (5 out of 5 stars)
September 6, 2016

Ask Polly is the highlight of my Wednesday-- I have columns bookmarked and text docs with my favorite quotes. I am in the middle of a break up with tepid MF-er #16 and if it weren't for Polly I probably wouldn't have the resolve to do it. She is the aunt you never had but so desperately need. The Kanye column is what hooked me - so glad it's in there (although the Yes guitarist column is 💯💯💯💯). I recommend it to all of my friends but haven't lent it out because I keep re-reading it.
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Hilarious and insightful
by Amazon Customer (5 out of 5 stars)
February 6, 2018

I am obsessed with Ask Polly's weekly column in The Cut, so I was thrilled to find out I could get my Ask Polly fix in a book. Heather Havrilesky is a superb writer with cutting, insightful, funny, honest, empathetic advice that will warm your heart and make you laugh. Even on topics completely irrelevant to my life, I'm able to find something relatable in Polly's advice. Since buying this book I've practically become an Ask Polly disciple, trying to get all my friends to read this book and partake in her wisdom as well.
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Required Reading for the Clueless
by Amazon Customer (5 out of 5 stars)
November 13, 2018

I bought this book for my twenty year old son hoping to make him a little more human. A good kid, but really clueless about....almost everything. I ended up reading this on a recent trip and realized that I was pretty clueless about....almost everything. Empathy and understanding are intertwined like a cinnamon twist, with humor as the glazing and profanity as the cinnamon. Enjoy, learn, and watch your waist.
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Lovely little book, great end piece (light spoilers)
by Analein (4 out of 5 stars)
September 18, 2018

I love reading advice columns, so this book is right up my alley. She mostly tries to get her letter writers to be consciously aware of their own viewpoints, and for the most part stays away from prescribing cures to their problems.

One piece I did take issue with involves a LW who is grieving their father and whose mother thinks they should be over it by now. HH wants to believe the best about the mother but without knowing the family more, her advice might just be even more hurt. There are toxic people, there are narcissists, and I have personal experience with both.

That said, the end piece is a lovely little thing. It made me smile.
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Fulfils the Promise of the Title
by Carbonous (5 out of 5 stars)
June 19, 2017

I love it. I want to share it. If you're stuck or sad or just not sure how to do the "life" or "human interaction" things that it seems like everyone else manages effortlessly, read these lovely essays that feel like they're for you even though they're answering someone with seemingly different issues. Start from the beginning, or open at random. Savor.
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Ask Polly at its (her) finest
by Katie (5 out of 5 stars)
July 17, 2016

I am a huge Ask Polly fan and this book does not disappoint. It is about 75% new material and oh boy, is it good. It has a few of my old favorites that I go back and reread regularly (What Would Kanye Do?) but the new stuff is just as fantastic as the previous stuff.

This advice column has honestly changed my life over the last 18 months and this book gives me the feels because it is As Polly at its finest, and then some.

I bought the hardcover because it's a book I can see myself reading again and again.
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What a good book to read.
by Kevin Hainline (5 out of 5 stars)
July 20, 2016

Being a person these days is pretty tough. I think that we live in a world where we are under a lot of pressure to Work Very Hard, All The Time, so that we can Be Amazing in a way that seems Almost Effortless. This pressure builds, over time, similar to how our closets and the spaces under our beds, and bottom desk drawers just get full. We don't want to be judged, and we are always worried we are being judged. And we feel alone in this, we feel like we are the only person who could possibly be secretly broken. Everyone else has these wonderful instagram photographs of themselves, see, where they're standing outside of an ice cream shop smiling, perfectly filtered and perfectly happy.

And here is where Heather Havrilesky comes in. For years she has been someone you could write to to ask about why you are increasingly falling apart in different ways, and she would take these letters and pick some that seemed somehow more universal, and then she would write columns giving out advice that tends to boil down to: "hey, it's ok, it's ok to be you, the real you." And she's written this book here, which is full of important things that people should know. And it's one of those books where you will read a chapter, or even a few paragraphs, and then you'll have to stop and put the book down on your chest (this book is very good for reading while lying down, late at night) and stare up at the ceiling and you will think "oh gosh, gosh gosh, that is an important thing for me to have read, that is a good way of putting that complicated emotion that I have inside me." And you might be one of those people who has a pencil on their nightstand and you will underline a sentence or two. And slowly, slowly, while reading a book like this, you will come to understand yourself, or your loved ones, or even your acquaintances a little better. Which is what we need in this increasingly terrifying world. We just need to understand that we're all swimming in the same dark, open ocean.

Buy this book! It's got good things inside of it. And you have good things inside of you, too! And this book will help you perhaps realize that.
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Life Changing Read.
by meredith (5 out of 5 stars)
November 21, 2018

I could not recommend this book more. Whether you are going through a break-up, lonely, or unsatisfied in your career this book gives perspective, assurance, and solid advice. Since reading I have taken Heather's wisdom and suggestions to build up my confidence and quality of life. If you can read, read this book.
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Great! Refreshingly honest
by SJ (5 out of 5 stars)
July 14, 2016

I've never read "ask Polly" before, but I bought his book after hearing about it on NPR. It's amazing! I love the straight-talk that's so far from the wishy-washy "but how do *you* feel??" response that is so common when asking for advice. Her internal voice, which she references often, is very relatable and gives the reader many "wait...so I'm not the only one who thinks that?" moments. She shares grown-up perspectives without being preachy, and stresses the importance of forgiving yourself for being human while also challenging yourself to be better. It's in Q/A format and though I couldn't relate to all of the questions I read them anyway because the responses are so good. Take the plunge and buy it - Your day will be better after reading this book.
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Wish I would have been able to read this in my youth
by Slucky (5 out of 5 stars)
July 6, 2017

I bought this book on a whim. Was not familiar with the author. I'm a middle-aged woman, not exactly the target audience, I don't think, but am loving this book so hard. Ms. Havrilesky gives out a unique blend of wise and no-BS advice. I wish I could have read this in my youth. This may sound like hyperbole, but - it would have been life-changing. I plan to give this book to my 20 yr old daughter when I'm done with it.

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