Tough tamales if you're looking for air circulation this summer, but here at least your cash, Glock, and Chewbacca bandolier signed by all passengers of the Millennium Falcon will be hidden away and protected. It's Quick...

I'm not a spy and I'm not up to no good. Relatively speaking. But what I am is a man who values his privacy. A man who doesn't need his mama bugging his room with some sensor system she bought off QVC to listen to him...

Even Tony Stark can't concentrate on anything else in the presence of the mesmerizing Swinging Sticks Kinetic Energy Sculpture. Not that Pepper's that interesting anyway. I'd probably be distracted by steam rising off...

Some things that suck about raw onions besides the way they linger on my palate and infiltrate every burp I belch for the next 36 hours include: 1) Make me cry like a 9-year-old girl at her guinea pig's funeral when I...

TV remotes, console controllers, and flashlights, oh...crap. I thought I had 4 more AA batteries somewhere in here. Amidst the cords and paper clips and eyeglass repair kits and, oh hey, here's my Mr. Spock action figure...

Everyone talks about mold causing allergies and lung problems and, like, mental illness, but I just think it's gross. If I want fungus growing alongside my bed or watching TV with me, I'll get a Mushroom Log and at least...

Stop the bread massacre! Instead of putting holes in your toast and sandwiches, save your sourdough's texture and integrity by putting the holes in your butter dispenser instead. With its top surface covered in tiny...

When I see the word "Scrubba" all I can think of is my Uncle Orville. Gettin' all hot and ornery with my cousin Stoobie when we were kids and he refused to take a bath. "You grimy ground crawler," he'd yell, "if you don't...

BREAKING NEWS: Boutique Design Meets Charging Powerhouse! Also, Thundersnow! in Boston! Dude, this weekend just keeps getting trippier. First all the dead flowers and rotting meat I got from my ex for Valentine's Day...