Mobile Land Fortress

Product Description

The JL421 Badonkadonk is a completely unique, extremely rare land vehicle and battle tank. Designed with versatility in mind, the Donk can transport cargo or a crew of five internally or on the roof, and can be piloted from within the armored shell or from an exposed standing position through the hatch, thanks to special one-way steel mesh armor windows and a control stick that pivots up and down to allow piloting from the standing or seated positions. The interior is fully carpeted and cozy, with accent lighting and room for up to five people. A 400 watt premium sound system with PA is mounted to project sound both into the cabin and outward from behind the windows. The exterior is a steel shell with a rust patina, and features head and tail lights, turn signal lights, trim lighting, underbody lighting, fixed slats protecting the windows, and a unique industrial-strength rubberized flexible skirt that shields and protects the wheels to within an inch of the ground, while still allowing for enough flex to give clearance over bumpy and uneven terrain. Master power, ignition, all lighting, and stereo features are controlled from a single switchboard to the left of the driver, again accessible from either the seated or standing position. Standard drive is an air-cooled, 6hp Tecumseh gasoline (unleaded only) engine, with centrifugal clutch, giving the Donk a top speed of 40 mph. This vehicle is not licensed for use on public roads, and is intended as a recreational vehicle only. Badonkadonks are produced on an order-by-order basis, with each one having it's own unique set of features. With your order is included unlimited consultations with the designer and manufacturer concerning all relevant options (a representative from NAO will contact you shortly after your order). Price does not include shipping and handling.

Features

• Carries cargo or a crew of up to five internally or on the roof.
• Piloted from within the armored shell or from an exposed standing position through the hatch.
• 6hp Tecumseh gasoline engine, top speed 40 mph.
• Includes head/tail and turn signal lights, trim and underbody lighting.
• 400 watt premium sound with PA system, plush interior, and external camera.

Top Reviews

A Mom 'must have'
by Happy Camper (5 out of 5 stars)
February 16, 2014

No more being stuck at the end of the pick up carline at school! After I bought mine, I went to the front of the line quickly as people scurried right out of the way. I can zip in and zip out, pick up Billy and Susie and away we go to piano and soccer! I do wish though that it had a back up mirror, parking in my town is tough and I'd like to actually see what I push out of the way for my spot. Overall, a great buy and I won't leave for school without mine!
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Worthless Iron
by A.R. (1 out of 5 stars)
February 17, 2014

This iron totally failed to get my clothes wrinkle-free. A friend suggested that its large size indicated it was not for clothes, but I found it did not remove wrinkles from anything else I tried it on -- sandy beach, Chicago streets, Experience Music Project, etc. I finally put it on blocks and gave it to my kids as a playhouse. They are now deaf. Steer clear of this tank.
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The perfect gift.
by Rob (5 out of 5 stars)
February 16, 2014

I bought this as a graduation present for my daughter. You should have seen the look of surprise on her face when she saw it. The icing on the cake was the giant rusty steel bow they threw in for free. My daughter was so excited, she couldn't talk to me for weeks.
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I used to work on one of these things.
by Retired golfer/bounty hunter (5 out of 5 stars)
February 17, 2014

There was this one dude I used to work for on Tattoine. It was a pretty sweet gig. Some people claim this thing was called the Badonkadonk because that's the noise it made as it rattled along. Nonsense. We had that thing covered in liquor and naked ladies shaking their junk. We got messed up. We took it for joy rides in the desert. We got it shot up by sand people when we got too close to their turf. That thing just kept going.

I remember this one time we were so hung over after a night of long partying. Playing bochi with thermal detonators. Hookers thrown to the Rancor. We were f&^%ed up. Right? So next morning we were so hung over we could barely stand. I'm on top of the Badongadonk swaying and praying I don't pass out and fall off. We're escorting the party barge over to the sarlacc pit to toss in a couple of loafers and some wookie because they owed the boss money. (Man, NEVER ask for an advance on your paycheck in that place.) Anyway, turns out one of these bums is a Jedi. Someone palms his ass a laser sword and all HELL breaks loose. I remember Boba Fett was still so stoned he couldn't even use is legs. He just Leroy Jenkins his way into battle on a jetpack and didn't last thirty seconds. BAM, down the sarlacc pitt. I lost a lot of coworkers down nature's garburator that day, but that's okay I owed most of them money. I am TERRIBLE at playing sabacc.

The party barge blew up like a fireworks festival that went wrong. I'm suspicious that had something to do with the several thousand gallons of illicit booze on board. Anywho, throughout the whole ordeal the JL421 Badonkadonk Land Cruiser/Tank worked just fine. Just ask the black guy who stole it.
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Came with a scratch on it
by T. Wiltshire (1 out of 5 stars)
February 16, 2014

I am SOOO disappointed.

The damn thing had a scratch on it. I mean, after spending that much money, you'd think it would be in great shape.

The owner's manual is in Lituanian, too. What the hell?
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Excellent vehicle, perfect for a young family
by jehangonsal (5 out of 5 stars)
October 10, 2013

Excellent product. I bought this product because there are some dangerous youths in my neighborhood (some are as old as thirteen) and I didn't feel safe in my stretched hummer anymore. So, I upgraded to this military grade tank and have never been happier. The youths down the road no longer bother us, mainly because we shot them with the artillery cannon several hours after making our purchase. This initially was a problem as their parents were upset and tried to confront us, at which point we shot them with the mounted grenade launcher. And then the police and military were called but we eventually organised a truce and were even able to annex our house as our own territory. We've been firing potshots at the UN headquarters to coax them into recognising us as a nation of our own. I think we might upgrade to the JL422 as the Star Wars weapon technology on the JL421 has a limited range of around 5,600 km, which gets nowhere near the US.

But that's a minor problem. We used to be an ordinary family living a boring life in the suburbs. Now, we are getting contracts with Libyan nationalists (and yes, we DO make Back to the Future references!) and Chechen rebels. We can't wait to organise a military strike on our government and install a puppet leader. I hope you all get to live the dream like we are!
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Not bug-out ready
by Rick Von Grettahamster (2 out of 5 stars)
December 22, 2013

I bought 4 of these for my shipping container compound and am wholly disappointed in their performance. First off, how can a group of refugees escape the downfall of civilization over a road paved with skulls when the ground clearance is so small?. Second, you can't fit your 42" flat screen and 4 cases of MRE's on after you raided the Costco and/or national guard armory, its just too small inside. Sure it looks the part, but so does a rusted out Bronco II, but looks can't survive the inevitable frontal attack by a rival tribe/group. I do like the fact that when I roll up at the New World bazaar and barter post, I'll be the envy of every warlord and chieftain. I'll just wait for a real apocalypse commuter/diesel powered death machine to become available, and store these things out back with the other symbols of world so out of touch with what really matters(ed), and look upon them with nostalgic reference and a reminder that were are (were) screwed from the outset.
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Broke down, but makes great hot tub and lobster cooker
by KaliMau (3 out of 5 stars)
November 4, 2014

I've had mine for about 2 years and it was great. Sand dunes. Rivers. Middle Eastern invasion. But it's really hard to find a mechanic who can work on these things. When I had to have AAA tow me home from the Crab Night Casino Buffet about 3 months ago, I figured my Badonkadonk was headed for scrap.

But seal the interior and place the Badonkadonk over a large firepit and you have instant hot tub.That saved me about $10k on a hot tub purchase.

Note #1 - the metal sides get hot and can burn you. Layer with towels.

Note #2 - a bonfire under this baby makes an amazing Lobster and Crab cooker. Windows let you see your food cooking!
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I'm now by far the coolest of my Star Wars friends thanks to the JL421 Badonkadonk!
by Martin Schwirzke (4 out of 5 stars)
February 16, 2014

OK, as a diehard Star Wars fan (alias "wookierookie" at TheForce.net), I instantly knew that the JL421 Badonkadonk was for me.

Owning an all-terrain vehicle so remarkably similar to Jabba the Hutt's sail barge would make me the most popular participant at the annual Sci-Fi convention, if my mom lets me go this year. And all of the kids who live in my neighborhood would finally look up to me, because this would be way cooler than my Seaspray Green '76 AMC Gremlin.

I ordered the Badonkadonk from Amazon last month and could barely contain myself when it arrived (cashed out my retirement account at work). UPS accidentally delivered the 20 x 30 foot shipping box to the neighbor's house, so after convincing local authorities that it was safe to open and I was the rightful owner, I had it towed into my garage.

After unpacking it, and throwing the 28 Hefty bags full of polystyrene packaging peanuts into my (and all of my neighbors) recycling bins, I marveled at the tank's design: Truly built for battle with metal plates on the outside and for extreme comfort on the inside. The custom wall-to-wall shag pile carpeting made me think of the black Dodge van my buddy owned back in the early 1980s, and the stereo faithfully reproduced all of the sweet sounds from my bootleg Bee Gees audio cassette. When I turned the key in the ignition, the Tecumseh engine roared to life (mom thought I had started the lawnmower in the garage again and yelled at me to "knock it off").

I backed the tank out of the garage, piled five neighborhood kids inside, and took her for a spin. It took several minutes to accelerate to a brisk 40 mph -- had to toss a couple of kids out along the way to lighten the load -- and even longer to come to a complete stop. Luckily I ran into the back of a parked car, which was a big help. One thing of note: The tank lacks seat belts. I'm still hopeful that the parents of the kids who I took along for a ride will eventually settle their lawsuits out-of-court.

After the successful trial run, I'm now ready to take my Badonkadonk to the next level. I will be adding hovercraft components to the chassis, to mimic repulsorlift propulsion, so I can skim over all surfaces, including water. I've also named her Khetanna after Jabba's Ubrikkian Luxury sail barge.

I give the JL421 Badonkadonk 4.2387 out of five stars (took 0.7613 or one star off for the lack of seat belts and repulsorlift propulsion).
"Goopta mo bossa"
"•Huttese farewell meaning "May your mind not evaporate"
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The perfect commuter (with a few adjusments)
by TG (4 out of 5 stars)
November 11, 2013

Reading the reviews I was a bit sceptical about the Donk. Since it didn't have cupholders it seemed quite pointless. I mean..what good is a tank if it can't hold your beer?! This critical point aside I decided I really needed a tank for my daily trip to work. Since no tank offers such good value for money as the Donk there really was no competition. So I went ahead an bought one. Having used it now for two weeks I can honestly say I have no regrets. I solved the booze problem by putting on a beerhat and commuting is now jolly good fun. Living in the Netherlands I'm always pestered by those annoying bicyclists on their way to school blocking the roads. With the Donk this problem is easily solved...the six HP engine is a powerful bastard, but also quiet enough to sneak up on those bastards and catch them by surprise. The engine is powerful enough to drive over little kids and grandma's and their bikes. Obese people are a bit tougher since the tank sometimes gets stuck on them. Motorcyclists are no problem, although I did have a tough time getting rid of that Harley gang after I passed a couple of them in true Donk style. Fortunately I just installed the flamethrower and once I used that they were gone (or vaporised) quite quickly. All in all I can say it made my commuting way more fun and I am very happy with the tank. It is a comfortable ride and with the powerful audio system I am happily singing along to my favourite tunes while driving over those annoying bicyclists.

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