Images You Should Not Masturbate To

Product Description

Choking the chicken, spanking the monkey, airing the orchid-whatever you call it, none of the images in this book will encourage the gentle art of self-pleasure. This deceptively simple and strangely addictive book presents a laugh-out-loud collection of random pictures virtually guaranteed to dampen the urge of even the strongest libido.

Top Reviews

Five Stars
by Amazon Customer (5 out of 5 stars)
April 10, 2017

Some of these were difficult to masturbate to, but not impossible
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I came.
by Jesus Murphy (5 out of 5 stars)
May 17, 2013

The title of this book was very deceptive. I found each image to be uniquely arousing.

I don't know what they are talking about because I masturbated easily to every page of this book.
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I'm pretty sure bringing this book is the only reason I ...
by Katie (5 out of 5 stars)
March 3, 2016

This was a big hit at the white elephant gift exchange. I brought it, it was fought over. I'm pretty sure bringing this book is the only reason I was invited back the following year.
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Too sexy if anything
by K (5 out of 5 stars)
January 16, 2018

Perfect coffee table conversation starter for those that want everyone to know they are macabre and strange. Especially strange if you find some of these images in anyway arousing. Arborists might be extra offended by this book, or extra intrigued, I suppose it depends on the arborist.
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5/5. Don't tell me how to live my life ...
by RJ Fabre (5 out of 5 stars)
December 26, 2014

5/5. Don't tell me how to live my life.
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Five Stars
by Kel (5 out of 5 stars)
March 13, 2018

Great for a white elephant gift, gave a couple packs of kleenex to seal the deal.
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Don't bother
by Stephanie (1 out of 5 stars)
April 17, 2018

I was looking for a gag gift and I thought this book would be perfect. Even as a joke this was not worth what I paid for it. Things such as a picture of binary code that apparently reads 'you are a nerd' is very misleading in things that could be mistaken for sexy or masturbation inducing material.
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Reduced my libido
by thomas davis (5 out of 5 stars)
July 14, 2019

I bought two copies of the book, one to keep on my bedside table, and one for work (I'm an auto mechanic, so you can understand how I would often have . . . urges). Book works as advertised: whenever I have impure thoughts, I just glance at the book, and problem solved.

I intend to get my co-worker one as well. He spends far too much time polishing his wrenches.
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Please read carefully
by Crystal Rizzo (5 out of 5 stars)
January 11, 2018

Misread the title. Introuble with the police now.
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Read at your own risk.
by Captain Obvious (1 out of 5 stars)
December 16, 2014

Directions unclear, got paper cuts on my dick. Would not recommend.

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