Messing With Telemarketers Book

Product Description

Let’s face it: telemarketers can be annoying. Even telemarketers hate getting telemarketer calls. Whether they’re legitimate businesses, pollsters, or unscrupulous scammers, one fact is universal: when people repeatedly call at all hours, day and night, it can be maddening.

After a friend pranked Haven Riney by signing him up for tons of college-recruiting forms, he began receiving up to a hundred phone calls daily. He put his number on the Do Not Call List… he told pesky callers to put him on their lists… he yelled, screamed, begged, and pleaded… but nothing worked. Finally, he decided to waste their time instead.

Riney’s lightning-quick wit, sharp comedic timing, and endless patience culminated in the hilarious collection of transcripts presented here. Every call is real, each funnier than the last. Getting mad does no good. Messing With Telemarketers shows why it’s better to get even.

Top Reviews

A Masterful, Comprehensive Collection of Retribution
by Andrew Koss (5 out of 5 stars)
December 21, 2015

Haven Riney's book, Messing with Telemarketers, is a comprehensive collection of the best material from the Facebook page of the same name. I began reading Riney's posts a couple years ago while on a trip to Santa Fe to visit a college. I subsequently decided to attend school in Santa Fe for creative writing, specializing in creative non-fiction. Most of my time is spent reading textbooks and novels for school, so I get very little opportunity to read for pleasure. The Messing with Telemarketers posts have been a welcome respite amidst the sometimes tedious school reading. I applaud Riney's irreverent antics which serve as acts of retribution for anyone who has ever been scammed or just annoyed by a telemarketer. The calls are presented in this volume in a professional style, free of the unnecessary exact transcript of every single call. Riney knows that non-fiction requires a degree of finesse. Anyone who believes that non-fiction is never edited or fine-tuned has obviously never studied the craft, and is likely just jealous that they didn't think of this idea first. It's one thing to have an idea, and it's another to execute it. Riney has executed his idea masterfully. If I had any criticism, I would say that I'm not particularly interested in the "at home" sections, but they are few and far between. I enjoyed reading this book as my semester came to an end, and I was finally able to relax and enjoy something for pure entertainment value. Riney's book often made me laugh out loud, and who couldn't use a little more laughter in their life?
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Great read and highly recommend it
by Marsha Emmons (5 out of 5 stars)
December 12, 2015

This book is stinking hilarious. Only wish I could remember some of the "reverse" language when I get actual calls myself. I laughed my head off and at one point had to put the book down because I was hurting. Great read and highly recommend it. It will definitely provide hours of enjoyment. Wondering if the author will be taking on insurance and Medicare next?
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Thank you for several laugh out loud nights
by Victoria (5 out of 5 stars)
January 20, 2017

Your book 'Messing With Telemarketers' is hilarious! Please keep writing and share more of your imaginative conversations with the people who should know better than to call at dinner time.
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Great Freaking Read
by Edward Donoho (5 out of 5 stars)
September 21, 2017

This book is freaking hilarious! Haven and the Messing with Telemarketers crew definitely know how to get you laughing out loud.
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but definitely a good coffee table table book
by Cassie (4 out of 5 stars)
May 3, 2016

A LOT bigger of a book than I thought it would be! A lot of the stories I don't find hilarious or anything, but definitely a good coffee table table book.
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Read this. Just. Read. It.
by Dermot H (5 out of 5 stars)
March 27, 2016

At around 18% through, you'll come across the bat. I won't say any more because of the spoiler effect, but it caused me to actually laugh till I cried.

Everyone will have their own favourite. I have several. Read this book quickly so that you can discuss your favourites with your friends!

And get Brian to give me my damned money!
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I admire his wife.
by Zanne (5 out of 5 stars)
April 28, 2016

Amazingly hilarious and enlightening. Anyone who has ever answered a phone needs to read this.
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Five Stars
by Andrew (5 out of 5 stars)
October 28, 2015

If you don't think this is funny, you should probably seek professional help.
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Very amusing
by Noel Richards (5 out of 5 stars)
April 2, 2016

This book is great. The absurdities of the things he says to the telemarketers is fantastic. Thoroughly enjoyed reading it.
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Hilarious!
by dolphin_girl_03 (5 out of 5 stars)
September 3, 2016

This book cracks me up everytime I read it. I have never been disappointed in the content, I just wish there was 9 more sequels.

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