Your Cat Is Plotting To Kill You Book

Product Description

TheOatmeal.com’s most popular cat jokes, including “How to Pet a Kitty” and “The Bobcats,” plus 15 new and never-before-seen cat-themed comics, are presented in this hilarious collection from New York Times best-selling author Matthew Inman, a.k.a. TheOatmeal.com. Includes pull-out poster!

Jesus Rollerblading Christ—another helping of TheOatmeal! Mrow, MOAR kitty comics. Mr. Oats delivers a sidesplitting serving of cat humor in his new book, How to Tell If Your Cat Is Plotting to Kill You.

If your cat is kneading you, that's not a sign of affection. Your cat is actually checking your internal organs for weakness. If your cat brings you a dead animal, this isn't a gift. It's a warning. How to Tell If Your Cat Is Plotting to Kill You is a hilarious, brilliant offering of comics, facts, and instructional guides about crazy cat behaviors from the creative wonderland at TheOatmeal.com.

How to Tell If Your Cat Is Plotting to Kill You presents fan favorites, such as "Cat vs. Internet," "How to Pet a Kitty," and "The Bobcats," plus 17 brand-new, never-before-seen cat-themed comic strips. This Oatmeal collection is a must-have for cat-lovers from Mr. Oats! A pullout poster is included at the back of the book.

Top Reviews

Unfunny and a waste of paper.
by DivaLuvv (1 out of 5 stars)
September 25, 2018

This book was a total disappointment; what it lacked in humor and/or charm it made up in meanness and pointless vulgarity. I'm no prude by any means and quite enjoy naughty humor when it's actually funny, but this book failed to get even a smile out of me, much less laughter. I question whether the artist/author even likes cats, as the themes are based on negative stereotypes of cats and seem to come from finding their behavior annoying or frustrating, not from finding it even remotely endearing (as any cat lover would.) Also worth mentioning, there's a section called "How To Tell If Your Cat Is A Raging Homosexual" that I, an acknowledged raging homosexual, found especially unfunny as it only reinforces outdated stereotypes (though not maliciously.) If I had to find something positive to say about this book, I guess it would be that it's an equal-opportunity offender: offensive to cats, offensive to humans, and offensive to a reader's intelligence. And if you're a stickler for grammar and/or spelling, keep your red pencil handy; you're going to need it. I wish I could leave a score lower than 1 star and get my money back.
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Christians and Children BEWARE.
by T.L. Clark (1 out of 5 stars)
November 22, 2018

This book is a waste of money; do not be deceived by the overall high rating.

This book is NOT a book for children or Christians.

Though I bought this a few weeks ago; I got it for a Christian Cat Lady. As I looked through it just now I see the totally disgusting chapter about 'How to tell if your cat is a raging homosexual'. How is THIS supposed to be funny?! IT WILL GO INTO THE GARBAGE!!!
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OMG, my cat IS plotting to kill me.
by Courtney H. Bailey (5 out of 5 stars)
October 9, 2012

Luckily my copy of the book arrived in a plain brown wrapper, or else Fluffy would have surely destroyed it before I came home. I took it into the bathroom and locked the door behind me. As the Oatmeal revealed the details of her insidious plot, she was sticking her sharp clawed feet through the crack under the locked door like a kitty reenactment of The Shining. I hid the book under my shirt when I left the bathroom although I could tell she was suspicious because she wove through my legs trying to trip me up so I would drop it and show my hand.

Thanks to the Oatmeal, I now know the truth. She knows that I know that she knows that I know. She is watching me. I am waiting for her next move. It's like a game. Like a game of what?... yes, cat and mouse, my friend. Only this time she is playing for keeps.
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Vulgar, not very funny
by S. Hunter (1 out of 5 stars)
February 8, 2019

Parts of this book are very vulgar. Wish I had known that before I purchased it. Waste of money and I waited too long to return it.
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What the Heck?!?!
by Kruppsd (1 out of 5 stars)
December 28, 2018

This book was supposed to be a Christmas gift for my daughter, but thankfully I thumbed through it before giving it to her. It is completely offensive and talked about homosexual cat tendencies, including dreaming about another cat's penis. Huh? Thought this was supposed to be a funny book!? How deceiving!!!
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NOT family appropriate!
by Just us! (1 out of 5 stars)
August 30, 2018

This is an adult book, not meant for kids!
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Kitty landmines - very real - very dangerous! ;)
by Christopher Barrett (5 out of 5 stars)
November 24, 2014

If you've not read any of the 'Oatmeal' comics, well, you probably should. You can see a lot of excerpts for free on his Facebook page. Or look at the preview for this and other books of his. But if you have a really good sense of humor, and aren't afraid to laugh at yourself, then these are hilarious books. Matthew Inman is a great person and he isn't afraid to push some buttons (apparently the die hard Christians are made at him for his 'How God is Managing the Rapture' comic).

This particular book was being offered for dirt cheap on Kindle ($1.99 I think it was!). The book is a collection of many different 'sketches' (he is a computer graphics artist) and comics from over several years. Not every comic in the book deals with cats plotting to kill humans, but several do. But they all feature cats in some clever way. The 'Bob-cats' is a funny twist on office work. Other comics show the humor of cat behavior. If you don't have a cat or haven't had a cat, some of this will be unfamiliar - but still funny nonetheless. If you have a cat, then you can chuckle along at the totally real occurrence of the 'kitty land mine'. Seriously - the kitty land mine is very real, and almost always occurs on the stairs!

It's something that I like having on Kindle so that I can read it on my phone Kindle app if I'm having a blue moment. It never fails to both amuse and lift my spirits. We worth a couple of bucks.
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Snore.....NOT purr.
by Denise (1 out of 5 stars)
January 11, 2019

I didn't like it at all. Both cats are mean, ALWAYS. They're never cute and loving. You can fantasize about the evil thoughts of cats, but not through an entire book. And there were points where I just stopped reading out of boredom. The "office" scenarios were redundant.
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IF HE COULD READ, HANNIBAL WOULD HATE THIS BOOK, BUT I LOVED IT - GIVES ME A FIGHTING CHANCE!
by CharlieW (5 out of 5 stars)
January 20, 2013

As a lover of all strains of feline and the author of Vague Signs of Intelligent Life & Other Wickedly Funny Fables for Adults
, I was expecting a book of bizarre humor and didn't expect anything so mild and unoffensive as this work, but as I say, I loved it! The graphics are really fun and the narrative is camp and unpredictable, especially the episode about the cat firing humans, and doing so with the compassion and sensitivity we all expect from our little carnivorous friends. "Bob" the cat is one alpha dude and should not be messed with under any circumstances, particularly if you are a human being. This book is worth every can of tuna you had to deny your companion, be it animal, vegetable or otherwise, in order to spring for this book. I like humor...quirky, weird, marginally irreverent, and like this work, oddly relevant. So, just think of your bucks as a hairball and cough it up, readers, you'll be laughing all the way to the litter box.
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Hilarious. Perfect gift.
by GPM (5 out of 5 stars)
October 11, 2012

**Note: The author does use swear words in this book, and it is sometimes quite colorful. Just a heads up.

Preordered for a cat-lover friend. Now, that same book has changed hands 10+ times to other people who want to read it. It was an excellent purchase.

Personally, I would use this book for a good toilet-read or I would throw it on a coffee table when friends are coming over so that somebody can have a few good laughs.

The poster included is perfect and is currently on the wall in my room. It's not big enough to read from far away, which kind of stinks, but it is good to have up somewhere. Makes me smile when I see it up on the wall.

Overall, I'm pleased with this purchase. There is more content than expected and everyone who has read it really seems to enjoy it. The comics are detailed and are easily understood, even for people who have no cats. The book itself is well made, and is very colorful. Really going to enjoy showing this to more and more people.

Hope this helps!

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