Awkward Moments Children's Bible

Product Description

How well do you know the Good Book? Written by a retired ministry leader, this book combines actual Bible verses with more than 30 whimsical original illustrations and commentaries to encourage readers (from all walks of faith) to think about how the Bible shapes our culture as Christianity continues to evolve. What began as a private online gag among interfaith friends quickly grew into a #1 Amazon Bestseller on its first day of sales - enjoyed by fundamentalist Christians and militant atheists alike! BEWARE - NOT FOR KIDS! This is definitely not your average children's Bible! If you thought the bestselling parody "Go The F**k To Sleep" was inappropriate for story-time with kids, you haven't seen anything yet! Leave it to the Bible! However, this book is not a satire, but a real look into some of the more troubling passages from both the Old Testament and the New Testament - including the words and teachings of Jesus Christ, himself! Unicorn Murders Genocidal Behavior Foreskins Fetish

Top Reviews

Great Book, Plan on Buying Volume 2
by AmyD (4 out of 5 stars)
December 9, 2015

I bought this book as a gift for my husband after we read an online article about the book. Because of the online article, we knew what we were getting into. I love that this book is a hilarious take on the dangers of taking literal translations from scriptures. We keep this book with our coffee table books, and it's amazing the number of guests who pick up this book to start browsing it. The MAJORITY of our guests start cracking up (and these are people spanning numerous faiths, and along the levels of faith spectrum). My one negative-star for this book, is that I was disappointed with how small it was. I didn't pay attention to the page numbers when I ordered, and was expecting something a little bit heftier. It appears that the authors have released a Volume 2, so I plan on picking that up at some point. As a warning: this would fit in terrifyingly well with children's books though, as far as design/size, so be sure to keep this separate from your kid's books...unless you want to answer some interesting questions.
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Entertaining and thought-provoking for Christians and non-Christians alike!
by David G. McAfee (5 out of 5 stars)
October 16, 2013

Awkward Moments uses humor as an important educational tool, challenging believers and non-believers alike to really think about the Bible's contents and historical context. The book encourages readers to dig deeper into their Bibles while simultaneously making them wish they hadn't. This is much more than an irreverent gag gift - it tackles the age-old problem of Biblical ignorance in a surprisingly powerful way!
- David G. McAfee, author of "Mom, Dad, I'm an Atheist: The Guide to Coming Out as a Non-believer" and "Disproving Christianity and other Secular Writings"
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POWERFUL, challenging, engaging, educational, and HILARIOUS!
by Max's Dad (5 out of 5 stars)
October 17, 2013

I think this book could be accidentally overlooked by many people as a "mock kids book". It is so much more! Seriously! This book starts with the simple fact that the majority of Christians can't even name the four gospels of the New Testament before challenging readers (Christians and atheists alike) to really THINK for themselves about the role the Bible has played through history and how it continues to influence our lives today!

THE POSITIVE: First, the illustrations are absolutely fantastic. Not just because of their colorful style, but because of all of the subtext and undertones that they hide for the reader to find again AFTER they read the commentaries in the back of the book. And, as for the analysis essays, I'm pretty sure the author could write books on Biblical history and the sociological influence of Christianity through the ages. (who knows? Maybe they have under their real name?)

My favorites (for very different reasons): Jesus and the Leper, Lot's Daughters, and the story of Job. (Actually, I can't choose - there are too many powerful messages to explore...)

THE NEGATIVE: The ONLY thing I didn't like about this book was the foreword by the fake "God" from Facebook. It doesn't need it. In fact, I think it detracts from is otherwise a very well written, very witty, very challenging book. Seriously, why did they invite a "fart humor" fake celebrity to be a part of this book?

I bought three from the author (which all came signed) and then got a couple more via Amazon for friends overseas. Everybody is RAVING about them! Best gift book ever! (logic and reason)
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Eye Opening
by Jacqueline Parks (5 out of 5 stars)
September 22, 2014

This book is so funny and so educational too. It may appeal to me more since I am an atheist but I think it should be able to make anyone with an open mind think about the bible in a slightly different light. I think that so many of the stories we take for granted since we learned them when we were kids are truly awful if we really examine them. For instance, we make Noah;s Ark into a children story and often have infant Noah themed items, but really it is a story of GOD committing the world's worst genocide ever. Ask yourself how that belongs in a child's nursery. I would love to see this book spread widely and used to teach alternative views.
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a great, funny, enlightening book, may cause disputes among certain friends/family members.
by M Irvin (5 out of 5 stars)
December 1, 2014

this is a great book for multiple reasons, 1) it truly is funny. 2) it brings to light several of the over looked passages in the bible that most casual believers don't know about and that many devout believers actively ignore. 3) it is a great way to broach the subject of biblical illiteracy and many of the inconsistencies and flat out horrible things in the bible with your religious family members (provided they have a sense of humor) 4) because all the illistrations site the actual chapter and verse when your super religious uncle says "that's not in there!" you can direct him right to it in his personal bible. if i have any complaints it's that i wish it were longer

this book is called a parody quite often and i don't think that is correct since parody involves changing the source material to make it funny. this just exposes the actual source material as the joke that it already is.... is there a word for that? satire i guess would be more accurate.
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A concise telling of some of the more confusing parts of the bible
by Amazon Customer (5 out of 5 stars)
February 26, 2014

This book has it all -- murder, romance, trials and tribulations, anger, jealousy -- it's like a microcosm of humanity all rolled up into some rather clever pictures and quotes. Some may argue that this book takes bible quotes out of context, but then again, it seems like most (if not all) bible discussion does the same (i.e., focus on the things we like, ignore the things we don't). I shared this with a friend who calls herself a Christian. She was so disturbed by it, she gave it back after reading only half of it. If it made her think, then it's a win for everyone. In all seriousness, this is an excellent book for sparking conversations and thinking about how we built a culture around a stone-age tribal worldview.

I loved this book, and am waiting impatiently for Volume 2.
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Delightful
by Amazon Customer (5 out of 5 stars)
November 27, 2014

Witty. Humorous. The best laugh I've had in years. Fantastic colorful art. I can hardly believe I use to believe and justify the stories in the bible. Years ago, a Rabbi I was studying under, regarding Ruth at the threshing floor of Boaz, said that the foot was a euphemism for the male phallus. Needless to say, I got a kick out out the commentary on Moses' life being spared from the wrath of the good lord above buy having a piece of flesh rubbed on his "foot". Hey, Horus...I sincerely hope to see a bit about righteous Ruth giving old man Boaz' "foot" a little midnight tickle....in a future volume perhaps ;)
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Hysterical!!!
by RSO (5 out of 5 stars)
October 3, 2015

Hysterical!!! I LOVED this book! The stories are hysterically funny and the illustrations are perfect! I love that this book points out the stories in the Bible that religious people typically like to cover up and ignore/pretend that these things didn't happen. I would recommend this book to anyone who is open-minded and wants a great laugh!
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Bringing the jaw-dropping stories of the Bible, to the masses!
by D. Bristow (5 out of 5 stars)
October 25, 2013

This book is excellent at getting your mind working over the details of all the crazy stories in the Bible! It's absolutely worth the buy for atheists and christians alike!
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Simply Wonderful!
by The Encyclopedia Tromatica (5 out of 5 stars)
February 26, 2014

This is great book. Most of the people who claim to believe in the Bible do not seem to have ever read it all the way through, remembering only certain stories that they heard from it in their youth, and knowing nothing of the Bible beyond these stories. For example, they believe that one of the gods (the Jewish god, to be specific; according to scripture this god was not the only one) once decided to destroy the entire population of the world by slowly drowning them. However, they never seem to ask themselves how many babies were born on the day the rain started to fall, or why this god would want to kill so many newborn babies. This book points out such moral lapses in the mythology, and does so using the words of the Bible, with great humor.

I can't recommend this enough.

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