It would be nice not to have to go to the barber, or the toilet in my mama's bathroom, every time I need my neckline trimmed up. Or, as my mama says, "weed whacked and de-brambled." Like I didn't inherit my lush, albeit...

Mosquitos may love your blood, but do they love it enough to wade through a shield of...dun, dun dun!...geraniol to suck it? If I remember correctly, geraniums are the dapper flowers my mama used to keep in her sunroom....

Usually I hope a giant flock of pigeons craps on those cars with the stick figure family decals on them...unless the scene goes on to show T-Rex eating everyone...but I don't think I'd find these Marvel superhero versions...

Step back, son, and give this minivan a wide berth. Because the soccer mom driving it: 1) is a terrible speed-up-slow-down-please-just-pick-a-lane driver; 2) keeps yelling at her 8-year-old to put the lid back on his...

With the exception of rich, chewy caramel you can pretty much stuff the Rolo with anything you want to take on your travels and trust that the portable wardrobe will condense the items into their most compact, most portable...

But officer, it's just a movie prop. See, they used an O-Mega Star Warrior Stun Gun in Demolition Man, Con-Air, and The Last Boy Scout. I'm just role-playing and...ow! I see you are not. Can you at loosen those cuffs...

Sneaky and shady basically mean the same thing, but for some reason sneakiness manages to carry an air of charm, whereas shadiness makes everyone want to steer clear of the jackhole who will short you on his portion of...

Whether you're averse to germs, juice squirts in the eye and beer sprays on the shirt, or just putting forth a modicum more of effort than is necessary, the Lime Bomber will free your fingers of the habitual summertime...

As entities, Hawaii and Star Wars seem pretty discordant to me. Beach with palm trees and umbrella drinks meets outer space and black-plastic-composite-clad Darth Vader? Compatibility: