It's almost spring! Only...I don't know, however many days until the first day of spring...days away. What am I, a meteorologist? I'm 80% sure it happens sometime this month. And that means it's time to plant your garden....

When I was little Mr. Spock and Dr. Spock were names thrown around on TV and in my household with equal regularity, so for years I thought they were the same person. It seemed only mildly strange that a pointy-eared human-vulcan...

That's right, kid. You wanna play Here Comes the Airplane, you pilot that aircraft yourself. I'm sick of contemporary society's unbridled pandering to children. They have two hands. Why can't they feed themselves? Put...

Defining characteristics of Hoth's tauntauns include a 4-pack of nostrils and a foul body odor. So. Who wants to wear a tauntaun zip-up hoodie? Stamped on the inside by a tauntaun intestines lining? On the upshot, I hear...

Would it be too much of a conflict of interest to get a Star Wars sunshade featuring the Millennium Falcon crew for my windshield if I already have Darth Vader floor mats installed? I mean, on the one hand they're going...

The problem with free speech is that it makes everyone think it's OK for them to say something. For our forefathers, free speech meant frank debates and sweeping public addresses. Today it means Facebook tirades, anonymous...

Canned Dragon Meat. It's like Canned Unicorn Meat, but from a slain dragon instead of a slain unicorn. It probably tastes a lot tougher, maybe a little charred, but since slaying a dragon is considered heroic and grounds...

It's not the first thing that comes to mind when I think of a Handmaster, but I dig what this banded ball brand of Handmaster has to offer too. Strengthening both the gripping and the expanding muscles of the fingers...

They term the type of massage RumbleRoller's Beastie Bar delivers "aggressive." I think you could also call it "penetrating," "effectively deep," and "more painful than a head-butt in the hamstring from a unicorn." Look...