The snake wouldn't have had to ask my girlfriend twice if he'd looked like this...

Is it just me or is this dragon holding a wine bottle pretty much, um, adorable? It's definitely cuter than every kid who's ever shown up in my Facebook feed even though I try to unfriend people when they produce offspring...

On top of the fact that plastic is systematically destroying our earth one molecule at a time and stuff, using saran wrap is an enormous pain in the ass. It tears off the roll all jagged and jacked--if it tears off at...

Just be careful those hulking hands don't squish your drink right out of the cup. Jokel makes their unbreakable pints out of silicone to eliminate the shattered glass party foul, but it's possible they're just replacing...

One discerning observation the Japanese have made is that Americans don't eat enough pandas. And while bureaucratic export regulations and some malarkey about endangered species have prevented them from selling panda...

Behind Door #1 we have...a full-length pantry of Combos and Cap'n Crunch! And Behind Door #1-1/2 we have...a dozen classic NES cartridges, a coupla Koosh balls, and VHS cassettes of the best porn from my childhood (circa...

If the Keurig Kold is on the "Wait, it costs how much?" end of your desire to drink homemade sodie, the thrifty kids at Hamilton Beach have a more reasonable (albeit more manually laborious) alternative. The Fizzini is...

If I took down the entirety of this 20-pack of Jell-O shot syringes myself I wonder if I'd be retching all the colors of the rainbow more from the cheap Popov vodka or the dense mixture of high fructose corn syrup and...

Take a guess. How many bowls of your oat bran cereal would it take to equal the fiber content of just one bowl of Colon Blow? Hint: It's not 2. It's not 3. And it's not 9. Bigger Hint: It's enough to make Phil Hartman...