Do you want to walk around all day with drool on ya lips and a rumblin' in ya stomach? Do you want to be chased down the street by random fatties who are drawn to you by the smell of your skin? Do you want dogs to attack...

I tried to stick a magnet to my fridge the other day and it just slid down the face of the fridge door and fell limply to the ground. I wonder what my fridge is made out of. I'm also confused as to what metals are actually...

Imagine if you will that you're cleaning yourself with a bunch of snot. Hard to imagine? I have the perfect solution. Buy this big fake nose and have your liquid soap (or snot) drip out of it onto your hands so you can...

The Gingerbread Man always acted like such a wuss. Enter The Ninjabread Man. I think he could slide right into all of our favorite Christmas stories and nobody would bat an eyelash. Please use black icing. Stars sold...

Do you lose your keys like some kind of retard all of the time? Do you have a nagging wife that you can't get rid of? Then this is the perfect item for you. Also makes a good housewarming gift...

The orange on the Pelematic Peel Pro goes 'round and 'round, 'round and 'round, 'round and 'round, the orange on the Pelematic Peel Pro goes 'round and 'round, 'til aaaallll the ughbittergrossblechblechblech white stuff...

The Odorless Toilet Fan claims to be "the #1 way to eliminate #2 odor." The unit installs inside your toilet tank to inhale all the foul-smelling air your bowel movements produce so you don't have to...

Some damn genius figured out how to bring s'mores away from the campfire and into the kitchen. And there's no pre-heating? I hate pre-heating. Pre-heating is for suckers and proactivists (just made up a word!). In a related...

If I had a gaping laceration on my leg, and someone handed me a ZipStitch kit and told me my options were to treat myself for free, or go to the hospital and spend $500 on stitches, I'm pretty sure I'd pick...passing...