How to Traumatize Your Children Completely: The Badass Methods!

Brand: Knock Knock
Category: Book
Price: $9.89
Dimension: 6.5 x 0.5 x 4.5 inches
Shipping Wt: 0.40 pounds
Availability: Usually ships in 24 hours
Total Reviews: 283 customer reviews
Average Rating: 4.5 out of 5 stars
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Product Description

Parents of the world rejoice! Knock Knock's bestselling How to Traumatize Your Children has been revamped with all-new totally dysfunctional illustrations. This groundbreaking instructional volume teaches you how to give your children the lifelong gifts of mental and emotional damage. Whether you employ the same ruinous techniques your parents used or try out an entirely new approach, you are bound to succeed!
  • Learn the latest buzzwords and trends in traumatic parenting!
  • Choose a personal trauma style controlling, indulgent, and more!
  • Paperback; 4.5 x 6.5 inches; 144 pages; written by Knock Knock


  • Whether you want to send your children to therapy with the same techniques your parents used or try an entirely new approach, this instructional volume will show you the way
  • Paperback lets you learn the latest buzzwords and trends in traumatic parenting
  • Choose a personal trauma style - controlling, indulgent, and more
  • Measures 4.5 x 6.5 inches
  • 144 Pages with full color throughout and 10 illustrations

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Top Reviews

Looks like it's working; will report back in 18 years.
by R (4 out of 5 stars)
June 11, 2016

Looks like it's working; will report back in 18 years.
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Total slam at today's parenting!
by Robyn H. (5 out of 5 stars)
September 13, 2017

I didn't know what to expect upon getting this book for my husband. We do not have children by choice and he rather abhors children. I can tolerate children, but would rather not be around them. I had read a handful of reviews before purchasing the book and was very curious. Well, you can tell right away this book is a slam at parenting today. It was HILARIOUS! I think every new parent should be given one of these books when they leave the hospital, or better yet, be given one once pregnancy is confirmed! When it is told in this fashion, you can plainly see how screwed up kids could become. Just take the book for what it is and what it is not. It is a jab at today's parenting and not a real "How to Traumatize" book. Come on people!
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FUNNY. Laugh out Loud Funny.
by apoem (5 out of 5 stars)
March 16, 2018

I bought this for a baby shower but when it came I sat down to look at it and ended up reading it and laughing. I've read bits and parts out to my husband my friends it's so funny. I have laughed out loud in reading this book.

Do you want to ensure your child needs counseling? Pick on of these ways to traumatize your children - you can be a: Controller, a Pusher, a Narcissist, an Indulger, a Best Friend, a Self-Esteem Killer or a Neglecter. For even more trauma you can mix and match or choose two or more types to be at once.

Yet it's also a bit more than funny. You can read it and recognize that some of it is indeed true. I would say that this book takes some of the parenting styles we might fall into and takes it to the extreme. Are you an indulger? Well then, be sure to buy your child the biggest, best car available as soon as he can drive. Are you a controller? Then be sure to pick the wife your son marries. This advice on how to be one of these types of parents to the extreme comes with advice, suggestions about how to talk to those judgmental people who don't like how you parent and some of the positive outcomes from being this type of parent. Just remember it's ALL tongue in cheek.

If you take this book too seriously, you will be going into your own counseling sessions. We all fall into these parenting styles at times. Do we go out on a date night with our husbands and leave the kids at home? Yup, sometimes. Do we spoil our kids sometimes? Yup. The key is sometimes. All of us are just doing the best we can and if you are like me you will recognize yourself in this book in almost every chapter because you will find you do some of the things the author mentions. Just remember, parenting is about doing the best you can, not going to extremes in any one area.

Now I have to go buy another one for my friend.
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Raising an entitled brat is no easy feat; giving kids every single thing they want ...
by christi gorth (5 out of 5 stars)
February 9, 2018

I have been trying to traumatize my children for twenty years and this book proves it can be done! Raising an entitled brat is no easy feat; giving kids every single thing they want and never saying no just shows how much you really love your kid and hate society. Count me in!

You can have super rude, bratty, neurotic children in less than six weeks by following the recommendations in this brat bible. Look for my awful, entitled children to start hitting the job market in the next two-ten years, depending on how much of a door mat I choose to become as far as college tuition and sorority dues. You're welcome, America.

Highly recommend--great read!
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Had to put it down a few times, it ...
by buballero (5 out of 5 stars)
June 6, 2017

Had to put it down a few times, it hit to close to home. Gives you insight into what not to do as a parent and is hysterical.
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For those who learn best through sarcasm
by JMC12 (5 out of 5 stars)
July 6, 2017

Seriously consider not doing these things to your children.
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Start traumatizing your children correctly today!
by Laura (5 out of 5 stars)
February 19, 2018

I really enjoyed this book. Sort of the devil's advocate to all the different parenting styles that we know of to their extreme, and how negative that would be on your children. The takeaway for me is that all these "traumatic" parenting styles, if used equally would be the most beneficial for your children. There are definitely (in my opinion) pros and cons to each "trauma", and they are unavoidable, so utilize them as best you can. Excepting that you will traumatize your children to some degree, excepting that it's ok and not denying the truth of that, is the point of this book. An excellent point indeed
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Great book. I am a father of 2 boys ...
by remo44 (5 out of 5 stars)
May 28, 2017

Great book. I am a father of 2 boys and the thing is you live through everything that is described in this book and more that isn't here. But when I was reading (with my wife) we were both laughing so hard as if this book was written for us... Loved it
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Five Stars
by Amazon Customer (5 out of 5 stars)
May 8, 2016

Perfect baby shower gift for new parent
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Five Stars
by Danielle Hohmann (5 out of 5 stars)
May 5, 2017

I laughed through this whole book and bought one for a friend.

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